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Sometimes – II

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English Poetry

Sometimes you need your Breath, to be stopped…
Sometimes you need your Eyes, to be closed…
Sometimes you need your achievements, to be clapped…
Sometimes you need your failures, to be slapped…

Sometimes you need your Mind, to get shaken…
Sometimes you need your Heart, to be broken…
Sometimes you need your Words, to be spoken…
Sometimes you need your Sorrows, to be taken…

– Amit T. Shah (Mas)
15th September 2012

8 Comments

  1. in this world of din and boisterous bustles sometimes every one want very selfishly to attract the attention of the people.amidst these greedy hopes if one could not get proper care what they think it a necessary thing,they really are plummeted into the doldrums of desperation.even the activities they are engaged in are meant for getting attention of the society.they are greedy for an encouraging clap.but if it’s not got,they may be with broken heart or may fill themselves with melancholic ways of inflicting the chagrins into themselves.this poem says about such persons.but repetition of words ‘sometimes you need—-‘makes the poem a frail one.the theme is genuine.

  2. Vishvnand says:

    Liked the poem quite much
    Long time since you have come to post your poems at p4poetry this time…

    Sometime you need to express your love to some one you have been loving all the time
    Sometime you need some one to express his/her love to you without losing any time

    • amit478874 says:

      @Vishvnand, Vishvnand Sirjee… I’m very happy to read your comments & I always get a childlike smile whenever I read your comments because I feel like an elders’ Love for their child when I see your comments. I hope your suggestions, comments & honest opinions definitely works for me & make myself able to polish my writing skill. Thank you.. 🙂

  3. medhini says:

    Simple and lovely.
    I agree with Vishvji.

  4. Gion Gion says:

    Hi Amit,
    nice.
    Very true to the human experience (man the social animal) in a down to earth form of language.
    Simply but well rhymed, suiting the use of the repeating phrase.
    Achuthan raises a point about the repetition “Sometimes you need your…” –
    an alternative styling could be using this phrase only twice: either to the left or above the first line of each verse.
    As is I think it works well. It reads much as one might say the lines in one’s own head or might write as comfort or encouragement to a friend.
    Fergus

  5. amit478874 says:

    @ Gion Gion, It’s been always a great support from your side Sir and I’m really very thankful to your and all the other supportive members on p4p. I hope all these will work in my favor to polish my imagination and skill of writing more delightful poetry. Thanks a lot.. 🙂

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