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©arbon paper

9 votes, average: 4.56 out of 59 votes, average: 4.56 out of 59 votes, average: 4.56 out of 59 votes, average: 4.56 out of 59 votes, average: 4.56 out of 5
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Crowned Poem, English Poetry, Uncategorized

Inside me

the coal burns

eternally..

 

Ashes

become a thick layer

of an obscure

Life –

Breathing dense

on my fragile memory.

 

Outside me

the forest burns

savagely..

 

Woods

shrink into

Empty spaces

of mute paper,

Enduring secrets

of my lost memory.

 

Paper & Carbon

Together ~

Retain my present

As past.

As future.

 

~

 

Carbon Paper

clean & creaseless,

Placed neatly

Behind

my neat memory.

 

I’m preserved ~

At least, for now.

 

 

 


9 Comments

  1. Good attempt in what is seemingly not that interesting a topic.

  2. Gion Gion says:

    Priyal,
    brilliant.
    The title seems to speak of our preferred edition of ourselves.
    I like the way the scene shifts back and forth within and without.
    The imagery of fire, coal, ash, carbon, wood, paper wonderfully interlink – morphing and mutating.
    Is our fuel source eternal only elementally? What state or phase or number do we hold or recognise now? Verse 3 & 4 are inspired, beautiful.
    I thought I had reached the end at “Together” then saw the next 2 verses.
    This, for me, is one of your most accessible poem but it is full of depth and intricacy and intimacy. It goes literally to the core of our being which in physical terms is as fragile as the thinnest sheet of paper.
    Fergus

  3. Hi Priyal,
    Well composed , the to and fro movement of time is well mantained The elemental differences between the inner mind and the outer world too, is well defined . Carbon paper as one which creates and preserves a facsimile is excellent. Liked the last couplet a lot .
    sarala.

  4. Vishvnand says:

    Beautiful poem indeed
    Liked immensely.
    What will happen when it will be a paperless, carbon paper-less world which we want and are moving towards it…?

  5. medhini says:

    An excellent poem with depth., Priyal.

  6. purabi says:

    SUPERB!!!!
    “i am preserved
    at least for now…”
    are we all giving in to depression?the desire to live is close to nil…yes, i was with you travelling through the time of oblivion.look at the imagery, mostly dark.
    “give me dungeon
    let me be
    in
    see how i scratch through
    those cells
    dig
    pierce
    see if a new world
    comes alive.”

    THANKS PRIYAL…THANKS.u have rattled me after a long while…lol.

    Fergus has the best comments esplly because he gets into the matter of the poetry unlike most of us who just happen to float…

  7. very magnetic way of expressing your feelings…..well done….

  8. ~HIRAL~ says:

    outstanding is all i can say !!! 🙂

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