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UNDER THE HOOD

3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5
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English Poetry, Jun 2011 Contest

This scarred heart , I think I know ,

broken , bloodied and wounded though .

With sad , dead eyes I look in here,

as painful memories  wear and tear.


My heart- horses feel it strange

to stop out on a forgotten range

With chilblains , storm and slate

on the darkest night ,in quailing fate .


Loud and  clear  the warning bells shake

to sound caution   against further mistakes.

Then other ghastly voices sweep

as hardened as snowflakes .


Once Love hoped to grow and reap

on promises pretty, firm and deep .

That Love  tumbled down the steep

When Hate turned around in sleep.


Somewhere the ghost of a broken Robin hood

searches love and wanders in  the wounded woods …..

12 Comments

  1. kusumgokarn says:

    Fine perception and subtle expression.
    Some lines are enigmatic, particularly the closing lines.
    The title – a quizzical pun on Robin’s hood!
    Kusum

  2. Gion Gion says:

    Sarala,
    very eerie the way the voice seems to move from personal to impersonal through the verses. As if a testimony transformed into a narrative.
    The change of rhyming scheme in verse 3 seems to add a certain edge, drama to the verse.
    “My heart- horses feel it strange
    to stop out on a forgotten range” – I love this couplet. It reminds me of an old stamp from Hungary – a scene of thunder storm, horses and cowboys on the open plains.
    Fergus

    • @Gion Gion,
      Hi Fergus,
      This is a poem that created itself . There was a storm brewing in the mind . Influenced by Frost’s ” walking in the woods”. Deeply appreciate your insights ,for I hadn’t given these aspects a thought . Yes, they add to the post.
      Merci Bien!!!!!
      Sarala

  3. medhini says:

    Very nice poem with vivid images, Sarala.

  4. Vishvnand says:

    Very beautiful poem indeed.
    Leaves you with a panorama for pondering & feelings deep.
    Liked immensely.
    Kudos

  5. parminder says:

    Loud and clear the warning bells shake
    to sound caution against further mistakes.
    Then other ghastly voices sweep
    as hardened as snowflakes .
    An excellent depiction of the dithering human heart. Beautiful expression of the struggles going on inside, ghosts that refuse to lie still.

  6. Apurva Bharat Gaglani says:

    Loved the rhyming of your poem and it is possible to sing it in a flow.

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