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A flower in a wasteland

2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5
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Crowned Poem, English Poetry

A bud opens its eye
to make way
for the light to
reflect upon the newly acquainted
to ponder over the sinlessness
contrasting the dark background
to aggrandize the bright white
& its struggle for survival
beneath the desiccated
canopy of dullness
Acting as an oasis for a passerby
I can’t help but commiserate
With this lone patriot in a losing battle
Even though the grey embellishes its sparkle
sometimes, when one is low
It still saddens to see a flower in a wasteland

 © Copyright Hitesh Thukral 2011

8 Comments

  1. purabi says:

    love the way it ended while it began with dark imageries.some lines are exceptionally well written while few(no offence meant) needed a little working. u write real well,u have raised your bars yourself, thus the expectation.

    • Hitesh says:

      Thanks for ur appreciation nd sry fr any disappointment. I’ll try my best to meet d expectations next tym 🙂

  2. medhini says:

    A nice poem, well written, Hitesh.

  3. Gion Gion says:

    Hitesh,
    very expressive. Great mood created. Strong conclusion to the poem.
    Gion
    I have one or two suggestions –
    “..commiserate
    With…”

    ” and its struggle for survival
    beneath the (arching, weighing, cloying, depressing)
    canopy of dullness” – I feel dull / dullness is a repetition here that detracts from the lines.

    • Hitesh says:

      Thanks Sir for the appreciation and the suggestions. I hav incorporated them.
      Just to clarify I repeated dull with dullness jst to attempt in amplifying the effect of the word while imagining, that’s all. Nevertheless, thanks a lot for your comments, Sir

  4. bhupesh gupta says:

    Beauitifully written!

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