Your Tempest
(3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5, rated)
Loading ... In the azure waters of your eyes
urging a need to wade
the tide is on the rise
your desires cascade
into a whirl
the storm is brewing for a while
i can hear the thunder
from thousands of miles
threatening to take you under
its deep recesses
Let me swim in your passion
let me swirl in the waves
let me sweep you up
from your dark sinking caves
of your tempest
Lets swim out to the shore
where waters are still and calm
serenity prevails and we can soar
reach out to a new dawn
of bliss.
8 Comments
Yes beautifully written, again your strength is free verse, you are the best at that and you are a good rhymer also.
Rhyming scheme is new, you have tried to add that 5th lines in every stanza, thats new!!!
The substance of the poem is good. The structure of the poem is new. You are a good inventor.
You have a “i” instead of a “I” in the second stanza, I guess that needs corrections.
For all your efforts and invention (because of invention is one thing is love to the core of my heart) I cannot give you anything less than 5 from myside.
great……………..
Let me swim in your passion
let me swirl in the waves
Amazing Creation
Visualisation and Creative writing at Its best
I am water
Sometimes solid...you can always depend on
Sometimes liquid...fits in anywhere
Sometimes vapor...ephemeral...I am there and then I am gone
Sometimes ice...but can be dissolved by fire
Sometimes swirling ....with passion
Sometimes tranquil ....with still desire
Always flowing....unaware of the destination
Sometimes vivid ....like blue sapphire
Always pure....see your reflection
Always rising ...wanting to go higher
http://renunrajsblog.blogspot.com/
Renu,
yes for me the eyes always have it. Enjoyed this poem,
“In the azure waters of your eyes
urging a need to wade”
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