A Goan Deluge
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5, rated)
Loading ...Goa 5/6/09
Raindrop ripples in Mandovi
Lapses in memory
The long fan moans and groans
The red ant ascends onto the throne
The fruit of the jackfruit tree
Sways with the wind
The waters run deep
A white flower getting carried away
From the river into the sea
An unknown bird calls its mate
The waiter with lowered eyes calls on me
The electricity suddenly goes away
Candle emerges,melting its fate
Evening has set in
A fresh set of clouds rush in
A deluge.
Of water and memories
17 Comments
beautiful indeed… pretty mch like a collage of images that flash thru one by one ….d same way as memories do
the poem inherits a calmness and subtleness, which it lends to the readers….
An unknown bird calls its mate
The waiter with lowered eyes calls on me
The electricity suddenly goes away
Candle emerges,melting its fate
beautiful
Wow Beautiful……….Stars = 5
There is no rhyming, but the use of words and the flow makes it a gem……
I thought the Candle melting its fate…..needs to be changed……candle is ok……..but melting its fate….looks like you are writting about something sad and the indepth sort of poems……..This is a happy-go-lucky poem like the Anand Charater in the film Anand……………….So Candle needs to have a different verb…
The poem no doubt is going to be added to my favs….
You are a gem of a poet…………no doubt………….whenever I read your work, I feel why we need to have rhymings atall……………you are the best free flowing ones I have seen and the best thing I like is, most of the times, you use simple english so that even a lay man understands and enjoys poems……..if this poem would have been made with difficult ‘englandsish english’, I would trashed it………
ok let me stop praising you…..and rate your poem (as a 5)
I stand by a major portion of comments by Mr. Ulhas ! Further stars find no
space, yet stand outside upto 10/10 ! The classy style of your poems,
Anglice, has imposed upon me a craze to invite your observations on my silly
writes, the latest among them being “THE MIGHT”.
a.k. goswami.
renu rakheja Reply:
June 10th, 2009 at 11:38 pm
@ashwini kumar goswami, Thanks Ashwini- am trying to read as much as I can but have a lot of catching up to do ! What to do !!
too good.refreshening enough to read your poems as ever.the flow was accurate, the lines picturesque.crown crowned!
I am water
Sometimes solid...you can always depend on
Sometimes liquid...fits in anywhere
Sometimes vapor...ephemeral...I am there and then I am gone
Sometimes ice...but can be dissolved by fire
Sometimes swirling ....with passion
Sometimes tranquil ....with still desire
Always flowing....unaware of the destination
Sometimes vivid ....like blue sapphire
Always pure....see your reflection
Always rising ...wanting to go higher
http://renunrajsblog.blogspot.com/
Very beautiful Poem indeed.
Lliked it immensely.
Felt totally identified with the beautiful poetic narration, Mandovi Hotel overlooking Mandovi river.
But being in Goa, why Goan feni has not found a place in the poem ?
Or may be now with candle light dinner
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renu rakheja Reply:
June 10th, 2009 at 11:35 pm
@Vishvnand, Thats bcaoz of teh author’s experiene- which did not include Feni !
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