« »

Lonesome tear

4 votes, average: 4.25 out of 54 votes, average: 4.25 out of 54 votes, average: 4.25 out of 54 votes, average: 4.25 out of 54 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5
Loading...
English Poetry
 
  One single tear plummeting from the eye
Like one shooting star across a clear sky
Lonesome tear on a diminishing journey
Oh, what a poignant beauty!

(19/01/2008)

15 Comments

  1. shalu says:

    Another wow to this lovely poem:)

  2. medhini says:

    Marvellous piece, Preeti.

  3. mashood says:

    a not so convinient …beauty ………except for poets and philosophers…..

  4. seema.sahaa says:

    Nice to see the rare contribution from you Preeti but to be honest I found the comparison between the tear and the shooting star inapt… the shooting star shoots across the sky while the tear gently rolls down the face…not as impacting as expected….

    Would love to read more from you both in poems and comments….

  5. krishna says:

    It’s nice but I liked the part wherein the shooting star is a poignant beauty rather than the plummeting tear on a diminishing journey…

    • Preeti Datar says:

      perhaps, a better comparision would have helped 🙂 But since this is an old piece of writing, I will not be editing it…

      • krishna says:

        I agree completely Preeti…
        The work is your baby and sometimes like we all do we don’t want to change cos’ only the author understands the matter or the metaphor
        in totality than the one who comments as per his or her understanding of the matter…
        Looking forward to more from you…

  6. ULHAS says:

    Great poem……….thought to write something seeing all the space above you left.

    I saw your tear fall
    from and into the void
    and then you wrote the poem after all
    which your tears wanted to avoid.

    Great, Stars = 5

  7. parminder says:

    Poignant indeed! A lovely composition and along with it Ulhas’s too .

  8. Gion Gion says:

    Preeti,
    I thought there was something wrong with the post so I didn’t read in carefully until now. It is wonderful, no excess of words and rhyming, no strained metaphors or allusions just the below — TO BE QUOTED IN FULL
    “One single tear plummeting from the eye
    Like one shooting star across a clear sky
    Lonesome tear on a diminishing journey
    Oh, what a poignant beauty!”

  9. vartika says:

    wow…. wat a beauty…. i wonder y i cud nver see it d way u have shown it to all of us…. i mean d lonesome tear seems beautiful, but its comparision wid the shooting star has lended it an extra beaty 🙂

  10. Danni says:

    My wife and I have been very blessed in our lives. We have also lived thguorh very tight times ( I. E., blood donations.) We have always felt the love if others. Many times, we picked up the bill for another at a resturant. Other times we paid for another’s groceries. Another time we put together a baby shower for a lady we never met who left an abusive home. Instead of money, we gave a man in the rain a sleeping bag, a coat, and accessories along with a gift card for a meal at Denny’s. When my wife ad I ran into financial issues, we were blessed by people who remained anonymous with a $500 gift card twice. We always asked why. We had a very hard time accepting. Why us? LovePay it forward It will come back when needed

Leave a Reply