Loading ...Composed this sort ‘Sad Love poem’ while missing my lost love one nyt..
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“Still I go on
__Still I try
Sometime i lived on the edge
Sometimes i died
Still I feel your touch
__Still i cry
When I see my fingers
___I search your presence nearby
When i put them together
And i close my eyes
___I see you leaving me behind
Just like ‘once and while’
What wrong did i do baby !
I loved ya lyk noone thy :’-(
Still i feel your touch
__Still i cry
____Still i go on
______Still i try !”
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Cmp by : Deepak Chandra (19 Dec,2008)
I am a novice and I am trying so hard to learn and live in this beautiful dream called Life.
Just wanna say my heart in my words to you all:
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"आओ मिलकर हसरतों को अपनी, हम तम्मनायें कर ले;
रह गयी जो साज तन्हा, उनमें कुछ आवाज भर दे;
........
सूखती हर नज़र में, कुछ नए गुलजार कर दें;
दर्द से बहती हर नदी में, आओ थोड़ा प्यार भर दे|"
nay!not your kinda poetry!frivolous use of words.
we must all take poetry posting in p4p a little seriously rather than just posting it for the sake of being democratic.
you cant let yourself to ruin your talent!
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Deepak Chandra Reply:
April 29th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
What to say Pratima
jst a smile can be the longest answer to this…
I welcome your feelings and suggestions. Accha lega lega ye padh ke ‘not your kindda poem’. Bas yar, at tym it happens that you have lot of feelings to write but you dont get serious words to quote that.. In the same misery I only could find weak words to express myself on a very unaccounted thin tym of my life,, Do forgive for my grammer mistakes.. I m not tht storng in English-grammer.
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krishna Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Content is good but the text in SMS form ruins the charm of a good poem it could have turned out to be. Appears very casual. I hope you’ll take it as a feedback rather than criticism…
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