Sun Supreme over the Moon of Dream
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Loading ...This poem talks about an Imaginary brawl between the Sun and the Moon, and also talks about how the Sun presents all its powers and tricks to win over the Mankind. The poem does not talk much about the Moon, and does not show case its side of the story. Its all about the Supreme Sun.
So pompous, in its tour, it so decided to print its brochure,
the sun would put to display, a few strengths in play,
and swept a few rainbows across and the farms were turned green and gloss
the sun advertised itself all over, and the moon felt short of power
The burning bright, stood upright, adamant all day white,
in its attempt to win a place, the sun would showcase all its grace
and it would stand in all its pride, and shine down till its subside
the competition was tough, and the bullied sun was too rough.
In all its light, the mountains brown, danced to show its peak upon,
and the rivers those strayed, set directions laid,
and the chimes that swarmed and sung the air, were thought once to be a devil affair,
the touch of the rose, and the lotus expose, the gorgeous shows,
the sky then blue, over the hue, the presentation all so new,
the questioned raids that stormed in brigades, and rain so was named,
for the squirrels and the mice, fled absconding, those little astute device,
though some monstrous oversized ones, stood demonstrating their tons,
and the competition of hunger built on the pace, and so was set the chase,
and the darlings arm that charmed in embrace, the sun could show her face.
The sun, in force, all tyrant though, made big of its rolling run,
and sure to the mass in vote, the wise flocked in it’s support,
for the sun had obvious gains, and promised to counter all complains,
the moon had no chance to speak up and prove, and the sun shined upon in groove.
So the moon agreed to the second shift, after the sun’s tired drift,
for the first half would be called a morning, in the light of the shining zing,
and second one would be quiet brunette and appeasing, so to call a night,
thus to the power of them and their might, for little they did in spite
and when each of them, they worked apart, pretty well they played smart.
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Renuji and krishnaji, I have a poem on Moon - “Who Spoiled the Moon”, I guess you have seen that, but if you havent, kindly have a look…
Thanks for the comments….
hmm…yes,the flow got lost somewhere down the 3rd para,but the poem is fine otherwise….ulhas,just a suggestion from whatever experience I have,consider the sweetness or the toughness of a word before using them…for example words with “soft” or “subtle” feel-ample,breeze,twilight(I hope you observe the effect) and tough words like-danger,destruction,tyrant,etc.
no offences!
Poetry is Fun, playing around with words and somebody Else's Emotions and topics and sometimes playing around with your own experience and emotions.
So Isn't poetry a fun game.............you play with the world in a few lines.
The concept was nice but the poem somehow did not appeal so much-maybe the flow was missing and the use of words did not add to the rythm and beauty-
how about a poem about the moon?
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