Practically Outwitted!-Corrected Version
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Loading ...Ramu and Gopal were friends,
Living in forest reservations.
They used to outwit each other
And their stories were topic of village’s laughter.
One day both were working in the farm
While Ramu’s attention fell to something Gopal seen.
Ramu saw a striped cat under a distant tree
And quipped Gopal what it might be.
“It looks like a tiger from here”,
Gopal stated, being far from the tree.
Ramu poked, “Why can’t you go near and make sure?”
“Do you think I am mad?”, Gopal shuddered with fear!
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Comments
this is the f/b i received in MYSPACE literature forum for the above poem…
“ i like it!
a few problems, though
if you’re going to have a rhyme scheme, make sure it’s throughout the poem
you seemed to pull it into a rhythm near the end, which i liked.
many people use rhythm as a climax-heightening tool
good poem!”
Engineer with Poetry,Cartoons,Sports,Music,jokes,Philosophy and Laughing at Himself as hobbies.
Its more of a nursery rhyme than an eloquent,meaningful poem.
You write well but you need to raise your bar…
No offense please!!!
keep writing…
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