Who Spoiled the Moon
(3 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5, rated)
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Of those many in love, who spoiled the moon,
and made promises in its ardent gloom,
and in the sale of love, they bought love
and sold it worthless. I speak of them.
For then I wonder and of these wonders I assume
the blemishes of the crescent one, were given of ours.
From the wounds borne of such love, I presume
are the sores from treacherous untrue lovers.
Some tell of the moon in times, shined much like the sun
and it wasn’t as dark, and it wasn’t of concern.
Whilst the loved ones made merry, and the loved ones made vows
the moon was their refuge, where the loved ones would return.
In the shelter of whose, love was made, and as love is today,
for love is good and love is unfaith, and this deceit love became moon’s fate
Its wounds are grim now, and moon isn’t as gleam now.
So tell me whose love spoiled the moon and whose love was that
for whose love was so fickle and whose love had hate?
7 Comments
The 1st 3 paras are nice but the last one lost the flow.Maybe the word ‘love’ was used too much and the 5 lines instead of 4 broke the tempo
Dear Ulhas,
This is a novel idea: a transfer of emotions to the un-participating moon that usually forms just a silent backdrop to many a romantic tale. I would rate you 3 on 5 for the subject, 2.5 on 5 for the actual execution and 2.5 overall, but please don’t take this personally.
Me, Ulhas Kavle, take fun in writing poems, molding words, rhyming them and make a nice jigsaw. Poetry for me is playing with words and making new sense of out of it. There is no specific or favorite poem of mine, but I still remember the daffodiles poem we had in school.
I love P4Poetry and thank them for reviving my skills. I seek to find time for P4P in the busy schedule. And whenever I post something here, its an exam for me and I wait for comments. Similarly I believe that it is very important for me to comment seriously on other poems.
Whilst the loved ones made merry, and the loved ones made vows
the moon was their refuge, where the loved ones would return”
praiseworthy.
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