Last Train Home

Written for Prompt 1 posted on the blog. Check out the prompt and the members poetic response to the prompt here - http://forum.p4poetry.com/topic.php?id=54

Trains pass me by
Windows show scenes
From life of others-
Perhaps mine;

Of what could have been
And what has been-
Now,
And in between

These distances
The visible wall
The fading light
The cold love
The harsh words;

It was all too much
To take
I needed to breathe
I needed a break.

So I ran away.

But I want to look
Through the window
At what I want from me
And what I want with you
A heart
A home
I dream
Of never being alone

But the windows are closed
The doors are jammed
The track is wonky
The train is packed
The whistles have been blown
The flags have fluttered

Alone I will roam
With no where to run
for I missed the last train,
Last train home.

(18 June, 2008)

Comments

This last para is good

“But the windows are closed
The doors are jammed
The track is wonky
The train is packed
The whistles have been blown
The flags have fluttered

Alone I will roam
With no where to run
for I missed the last train,
Last train home.”

can you see my poem….”look at life - 5 elements”

you have a beautiful flow in the poem .. writing style captivates the reader.. v nice..

two words that i have for this poem are…..

realy nice

hmmmmm

Preeti, indeed A very outstanding poem.
profound imagination, description & movement.

a really touching poem…… fell in love with the ending…..

innovative treatment of the topic…captivating..

superb

its an ok ok poem,i like your free verse style but cudve been better…….ull get better eventually……keep writing…….all da best

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