Here Are My Eyes

this is really amazing work, great idea and even greater execution, how about here I am yours yours yours…

Very steady flow, rolls easy…
word choice shows power yet does not overwhelm…
Must agrre with the changing of the end though,here I am yours yours yours does flow within agreement….
very nicly done…
Geoff

Thanks Akash….and Geoff.
I think here is me/heres me is more with the flow…since rest of the stanzas are all composed with here is….thanks again for the suggestion.

Well crafted! Neat sequence.

yeah, here is me does sort of rhyme with the beginning of all the stanzas

GRT POEM..TRULY PERFECT……………

Amazing! Wish I could write like u.

Simply awesome….. two bodies One soul idea is presented in a very audacious manner

Here is my spirit
Elevate it with yours….d relationship between words is very versed…brilliant!

hey renu…
im new to dis site…till nw dis is d best piece ive cm across…
very metered…very simple…very short n sweet…nothing litrery…no complex wrds….keeping it simple…poured with ur emotions…its amazing work
very romantic..very pure n divine…
and yes very feminne…gess ur submerged in love!!
i loved reading it…

i give it 4 over 5..

carry on..

Simplicity at its best !! …
But one thing i would like to ask is, the stanza
Here is my heart
Unite it with yours…
was purposely kept above dreams, thoughts and hope stanzas …??

@ Tushar : Am glad you asked the q.
The 1st 4 paras are the tangible elements - eyes,lips,skin and heart…the last one being the highest element amongst the 4….after that are the intangible elements…dreams,hopes,thoughts,soul,spirit….if that is fulfilled then ones life and onceself is offered

it is very impressive as i think you too !!!!!!

nice n beautiful word matching relating two souls !!!!

let me know is not correct?????

how is in yr heart it is going?????

lax man
yours

so beautiful……… indicates total submission of mind and body. Language used is lovely, wish I could write like that.

my heart is ur!!!!!!!